If the Undecided Voter is part of a random hookup, it's a good opportunity to practice asserting yourself.
Sometimes, it's OK to call for a recess, go eat some corn chips, and try again in an hour. How It Will Enrich Your Life: If the Undecided Voter in your life is attached to someone you really care about, time spent with this lil' flip-flopper can help you remember that sex isn't a super serious life-or-death situation during which everything has to go perfectly. Most Often Found Attached to: Guys who are feeling nervous, guys who are on some medication (or "medication") that delays ejaculation as a side effect. Most Common Reaction: "We could, you know, just cuddle if you want."
It is about to have an orgasm, or does it need about 15 more minutes of banging? Does it want to have intercourse, or does it just want to lie down and call it an early night? The Curveballĭefining Characteristics: Confusion. The Napoleon sucks in bed, and banging one will teach you that this has little to do with the equipment, and everything to do with the operator. And the guy attached to the Napoleon has dedicated his whole life to trying to make up for his diminutive junk, from his rad car to his attempts to push your legs behind your ears in bed just to let you know that he is a sophisticated lover. What truly determines a sexual experience is the partner attached to them. Going a few rounds with a Napoleon will teach you that, despite the bad buzz, small penises are actually fine. How It Will Enrich Your Life: The Napoleon isn't just about a small penis - it's about a lifestyle, one built around aggressively overcompensating for a small penis in every way possible. Most Often Found Attached To: Someone who has been bragging to you about the size of their penis. Most Common Reaction: "Please stop asking me about the penis size of every other guy I have dated." The Napoleonĭefining Characteristics: A lack of stature, accompanied by a real chip on the shoulder/dick. And hey, with the Continental, even if you've never been abroad, at least you can bone like you have! 2. circumcision rates falling each decade, you might as well learn to get comfy with our perma-turtlenecked friends. They're not unclean, they look exactly the same as circumcised penises once they're erect, and frankly, they're way more sensitive to handjobs, et al. But once you tangle with the Continental, you'll learn that all the schoolyard myths about uncircumcised penises are a lie. How It Will Enrich Your Life: There's a lot of needless fear of foreskins out there, usually from people who have never seen one in real life and thus speak of them in strange, hushed tones, as if they were an urban legend like the Chupacabra. whose parents are into reiki and hemp-based shampoos. Most Often Found Attached To: Someone who was born outside the U.S., or someone who was born in the U.S. Most Common Reaction: "Je ne ai jamais vu un ceux d'avant!" ("I've never seen one of those before!") In the same way that the American Film Institute lays out 100 films that you need to see to truly have a film education, here are nine penises that you need to see in order to truly learn about life and love (and also penises).ĭefining Characteristics: Foreskin, a certain je ne sais quoi. And although I can't personally weigh in on the vulva issue, I am enough of a lay expert (ahem) in penises to pull together a definitive listing of the nine penises you'll meet (if you're into dicks and kinda casual about premarital sex) in your 20s. I believe that we stand to gain a lot knowledge about sex, dating, and life by thinking closely about the specific sets of genitals that swing into our lives and groins when we're in our 20s. All these articles are great, but to me, they dodge the most important question: What about the wild and varied array of genitals that you'll meet in your 20s? What can you learn from the penises and vulvas you encounter in the wild during your untethered, formative years? And how can you put that knowledge to use for the rest of your life? You know - the people you'll date in your 20s, the totally questionable people you'll date in your 20s, the Game of Thrones characters you'll date in your 20s. When you're in your 20s, a lot of people have a lot of advice about all the formative dating experiences you'll have, and the impact they'll have on your romantic future.